24x30 Las Vegas, Nevada 

I come to you, defenses down. With the trust of a child - Peter Gabriel 

She looks like a flash of lightning in a sharp wind really. That you just notice right before the timing and perfection stops your breath. There is a childlike innocence but underneath, solid gold. Is it too much glitter? Too much movement? Not enough definition? Or is it all too much? The wind, the storm, the peace, the fear. A fairytale in transition when we are taught the lie of how the story doesn’t start until we are rescued from the storm. 

A hologram is a photographic recording of a light field, rather than an image formed by a lens. Your story and what happens isn’t what forms you because you already are the light, the story, the character, the book. We as women are the fairytale not the circumstances that tell the story. 

Once someone told me that to finally cry is to surrender, to finally give your body permission to release what is in your mind. Which is really easy for the person that isn’t crying to say. I wanted to honor your tears so they are encrusted stones throughout. I have not a doubt in my mind that a day, not long from now, you will have forgiven, and you will be so grateful for how you have picked yourself up, expanded further into self-love, awareness, and truth, and walked on. You will reach a place of such a different kind of life that you will understand why all of this had to happen the way it had to happen. Such a storm, such resilience. 

You have always been drastically glamorous to me. You look just like Andy Warhols portrait of Marilyn Monroe. You could be her twin sister. I share that with you because when in the kind of pain you are in sometimes it’s nice to hear who the fuck you are. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are talented. You are solid gold and too much glitter, all the rain, all the light, the whole damn storm with the sun at the end because the sun has never not come back up, no matter how dark it gets. 

I didn’t put much contrast in her because in your brightest, most resilient, most true form - all you are is light. You are love, and trust, and grace, and gratitude and beauty. Everything that comes to you in this life, whether perceived as good or bad -  has only one purpose - to bring you into the greatest good. Even if it hurts. Even if it’s unfair. You’ll never be given what you cannot handle. This portrait, like you, is the rhythm of a light field - not an image recorded by circumstance. Turn the page, defenses down, with the trust of a child. The light, joy, peace, the truth - will write the next chapter more aware, more illuminated. 

To paint your whole spirit would be impossible as you are unlimited. Unlimited. Let that sink in. There aren’t enough colors on the planet I could buy, however - I wanted to paint the glimpse - the moment- the mystery - of the illumination of hope and grace that you carry with you. With all the tears and all the stars and movement unpredictable like the wind. It is my hope that you identify yourself in this work. You are so loved. So beautiful. Thank you for inspiring this perfect storm.