16x20 resin coated
I think I can count the number of crowded rooms I’ve been in 18 months on 1 hand and it’s really just airports. I used to go to clubs to dance for fun a few lifetimes ago. What I remember about it the most is having a panic attack every time I’d be about to walk in, and drinking as much as possible, as quickly as possible just to be able to stand it.
Lately, I feel overwhelmed by just returning a phone call or meeting at the beach. I am mostly alone, painting my own world to life. The chaotic brightness of this painting reminded me of the beauty I used to seek out and believe I would find in crowded rooms- anywhere - and as loud as possible- just to get away from myself.
And for as simple and quiet as my life is now- as I was writing yesterday I laughed at myself & thanked younger, dumber me for all of the life that she lived and made it out of with her brain and talent still intact.
It was a bright moment. Didn’t need volume. Didn’t need a crowd.