24x24 Art Resin Coated Acrylic/ Glitter/ Canvas. Ready to hang. 

You might only know what you had when you don’t have it anymore. Then like a dark magic trick, everything you could have been grateful for reveals itself as it disappears forever. What would all of the ghosts of you say if you took the time to ask them questions? Do you see the profile of the woman? She looks almost like Lucille Ball, with her head cocked up to the top left corner. She is so clear to me, my husband cannot see it. So maybe only what we see is what exists. 

This painting is a portrait of surrender. Surrendering to every ghost you’ve got that’s got you back, protected by the sacred perfection of shadow we so often deny. Every single painting I have ever made has been a celebration of flipping from the archetypal victim to the archetypal creator. Occasionally a piece comes out that reflects back to me all of the darkness required for me to get to the other side.

To heal, contrast will be required. When I see my ghosts, I don’t get to ever un see them. But if I have the courage to actually look, those forces don’t get to dictate my present life decisions, either. I can spend decades hiding for sure. Hiding behind mindless consuming, complicated relationships and the always available self loathing.  Even if what I’m avoiding is a ghost that got me to the other side. So that I could learn what I had to learn. In order to become what I came here to become. The vision acquired as a result of so many experiences in the shadow, as the shadow is the whole point of becoming. My shadow has been my most powerful teacher. Every ghost of myself, hard earned through the million little deaths throughout this life and before - continues to push me through. 

This painting is a portrait of that surrender. From the light, through the dark, and back out to the light. Pretty cool for just a ghost. A ghost like me.