Pale Rollercoaster 18x24

18x24 resin coated 

If I had to put a visual to what it feels like having all of my dreams come true but still feeling like the exact same person, so preoccupied with whatever given emotion I’m feeling that day that I don’t know what way is up- this would be it. My true measure of success is always freedom. Structure wise I have all of the freedom I could have ever imagined to make myself happy. It is represented by all of the fun pops of pink and blue, green, red, yellow, orange and purple. The gray and white are the constructs of my personality that can wash it all out with a single thought if I let it. The not enough. The too small. The not educated. The fraud. 

I have learned this past 18 months that it is so important to stay motivated but not because of what I feel like I am not. I want to be motivated because of what I can do - because of what is possible. A rollercoaster has the necessary mundane lines. The thrills. The fear. When I was 7 I went on the American Eagle with my Dad for the first time. I was terrified the whole time but he was so proud of me when it was over. Which is probably a lot like what making art is. This painting is a complete portrait of walking through fear.