Surfacing (Out Of The Dark Into Another Light) 30x40

30x40 Acrylic/ Canvas/ Glitter/ Sequin/ Resin. Ready to hang. 

Power and transformation aren’t love and light, it's learning to move through shadow. Coming up for air after being deep underwater, my face breaks the surface and I gasp in the purple sunset. Not just for air but for clarity, which can only exist because of the absence of light and air. Pretending the darkness was a part of me didn’t work for me. It gave me body tremors, my mind panic attacks, destroyed relationships, and brought me more and more of the exact same lessons. 

I can viscerally remember what it felt like, pain, desperation, fear of being seen so great I couldn’t even put a tiny dot on a canvas, let alone finish one or sign my name with a capital letter. Operating from a mindset that everything was happening to me, not the truth of how I was the one creating it all. As if every single person I’ve ever met isn’t just a karmic projection of myself providing me the information I asked for to once again experience and hopefully clean up. This planet is a place of learning to exist and create in a plane of perceived extreme blindness and limitation, with all sorts of substances and shit to buy to try to fill the void. A lot of the time, this kills us and we have to start all over. 

The revolution isn’t expressions of outrage over the external or a war, it's you remembering who you are and what you’re here for. It’s what you do with your pain, and what you do with the people whose pain you can feel. Because only transmuting isolation into connection creates eyes that see and feel the exact same in shadow and light. That’s what real expansion feels like. Not perfection, but integration. Safety and contentment because of personal sovereignty that comes from within outward, not a constant state of fear and dissatisfaction caused by perceived external control that overrides inner autonomy.

Either way, surfacing into the higher version of yourself over and over is simply a choice to participate in consciousness instead of numbness. To feel again. To create again. This painting is a portrait of breaking through to that higher surface, one choice at a time.