24x36 Museum Canvas. Glitter. Acrylic. Resin Coated. 

If your consciousness were to be a sky full of stars I feel that this art would be a telling picture to go along with the kinds of gifts that you bring to so many. There is a depth to the armor that you maintain in this life. The armor is reversed really because you want to protect others from your pain far beyond protecting yourself. It is what creates such an illuminated sincerity that comes out in the way you speak. 

Maybe you went through all of the situations and hurts, triumphs and dangers - peace and resistance simply to learn how to speak. Speak in a way that glitters against the depth of your armor. I remember the very first time I heard you speak. I felt so grounded and in awe of the message you delivered at maybe a year clean. 

Your physical body was once crushed. And because of the way that you can communicate I felt it happen in my own body when you spoke about it. I know I’ve told you this a hundred times but I will never go on a climbing wall. I think physically that happened because you had to make room amongst all that you were holding. Imagine first this canvas was solid black - but after your fall you cracked open - and the light came through the cracks, because you had no choice but to start letting other people's light in. Love was what changed the composition of the armor. That is why her name is Armor Amor. 

How did everything you had to carry, that you built around you like a knight change? You had to be vulnerable. You needed help. And you needed to be put in a position to accept love. You are literally that stubborn. But it was the start of letting people in. 

You worked hard for a new life, still in your armor but learning what it is to love and be loved. Your power, just like a solid, dark piece of art with the movement and illumination coming from what sparkles can be intimidating. When they get to know you it sure does cause people to love, trust and appreciate you at a deep level. You are as humble as you are magnificent and that is well. Rare. 

So in the cracks of this armor where you have allowed the light in - the amor/ the love- in are also the spaces inside of you where you can put the light out and love others in return. This is done by putting down the stories of the past and experiencing the present. The once small cracks of light continue to expand. Underneath all of that armor you are a sensitive, brilliant, kind, loving, extremely hard working daughter, mother, wife, friend. Over the years you have allowed so many people the gift of experiencing the real you. The bright, sparkling, communicating, grounded, healing you. 

The real you is symbolized in gold. To me when I think of “the real” you I think of you speaking and SL scaring the crap out of you making you jump because it brings me a lot of playful joy. The silver is courage. The courage that you found to become the mother that you are. The love and pride that you have for your Son. The courage to get and stay true to yourself, the courage to get and stay clean. The courage to keep healing through the pain. 

The blue is slight. A whisper of the past really. At night you can’t even see it - but in the right light, it is almost like lightning, on the verge of almost disappearing. However, it outlines and gives movement to so much of the good. It is also symbolic of the blue, fifth throat chakra. What you went through gave you the voice you have today. It doesn’t define your speaking - but those experiences were necessary for you to grow into all that you share. 

The red is all of the passion and compassion that you hold. Despite much adversity that you have experienced - you are madly in love with your wife. It’s that child-like, safe, grounded experience where you get to share your life with the right person. I know the both of you are crazy about each other but giftedly, safe in that mutual crazy. You two have an army of senior dogs that you treat like royalty, a few businesses, and a beautiful life together. Saralynn brings so much light and composition to everything about you that radiates, and you to her. 

The armor and the amor, creating a dance of light and lessons and life.